Slowly, I walked to my car and got in. Checked my mirrors and rolled down my windows. As I turned the key a sense of freedom rushed my body. I pulled out of my driveway and down to the first stop sign. I considered turning back... scared for myself... but trusted my judgement... I needed it... I needed normalcy especially after yesterday.
As I pulled into the parking lot in and got the closest spot to the pier I thanked God for providing it for me. Walking down to the beach I ran into a friend who played in orchestra with me in high school. We chatted for a minute I met her boyfriend and we realized we live 1 street away from each other... and as soon as I get healthy... we planned to go for walks on the beach. Then I walked the entire length of the pier... it took me a long time... with a few stops but I made it... by myself... pushing through the pain. At the end of the pier I watched a cute couple slow dance on the pier to the song the little shack was playing... and longed for someone to dance with.
Then slowly I walked back down the pier and stopped at the Fisherman's Restaurant. The lights on the pier reflected off the water so beautifully tonight... I felt like I was looking at a Thomas Kinkade. I sat by myself overlooking the ocean and prayed. I prayed for patience... I prayed for a plan... I prayed for peace.
The waitress came and took my order (I got some amazing fish tacos) and I enjoyed the sound of the waves crashing below me. As I finished my meal I was so thankful... thankful to be there... and thankful to finally be alone... I needed some time to absorb... plan... and pray.
After I paid for my meal and left the restaurant I stood next to the restaurant and watched a school of fish swim beneath me... back and fourth they would go... catching the flies that swarmed above.... Oh I am blessed. I am blessed to have tonight...
"What if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?
And what if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are your mercies in disguise?"