Sunday, January 22, 2012


My legs wobble back and fourth as I raise and lower them. Slowly I count... watching every step I take. While focusing, on pushing over my big toe, I pull on the handrail... Trying so hard... Trying to get there.

Today was a rough day... A few of my symptoms that I thought had "gotten better" came back with full vengeance throughout this past weekend. I suppose that such return is the course of this disease... this unknown... This horrid... horrid thing.

The displeasure of my current state overwhelms me. I want a day off. I want an hour... I want to be able to walk up those fourteen steps to my room... who am I kidding... I want to dance up the stairs.

But for now... I am stuck in this broken body. I don't know why God has allowed this.

My goal has been, and will continue to be, to Glorify God in all that I do.

No matter what tomorrow brings... I take comfort in knowing that I have Christ.

I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way.
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave.
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will.
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still.
But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross.
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace.
Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone

And live so all might see

The strength to follow Your commands

Could never come from me.

Oh Father, use my ransomed life

In any way You choose.

And let my song forever be

My only boast is You.

Hallelujah all I have is Christ

xoxo- me


Anonymous said...

I follow your blog and want you to know what an encouragement you have been to me. I was diagnosed with breast cancer recently. Your honesty thru the daily challenges of your condition, your choosing to trust God, and your courage have been an inspiration to me. You are a gifted writer. Thank you for sharing your gift and your journey. Your play list of music has also encouraged me greatly. Thank you, Rachel. I am praying for you continually!!!!!

Rachel said...

Thank you! May the Lord bless you and heal you! He holds you in His hand!