Saturday, December 3, 2011

broken glasses.

I dropped two drinking glasses today... they broke. 

This week has been tough for me. My heart is heavy. I know that God has a plan. I know that he is using me. I know that He is allowing me to have this for a reason. I know that he hasn't healed me yet for a reason. And yet... I still struggle... With the desires... 

I want to not have to worry about tripping at work. 

I want to be able to take a really hot shower and not worry about getting weak. 

I want to be able to feel normal.

I want to be able to take two glasses off of the kitchen shelf without shaking, dropping them, and watching them break into a million pieces. 

But for now... I wait while I want. 

My heart sunk as I dropped two of my mom's drinking glasses... yeah... they were cheap... no they weren't family heirlooms... and no she wasn't upset in the least bit... but it was a physical reminder... My tremors and spasms are present. They haven't gone away.

I know that healing will come. Whether through modern medicine or a miracle. I believe modern medicine is one of the ways God does miracles now. And I love miracles. 

I am ready to be healed. And even if it never happens on this earth... I will be whole in heaven. And I will be healed. 

xoxo- me

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