This week has been tough for me. My heart is heavy. I know that God has a plan. I know that he is using me. I know that He is allowing me to have this for a reason. I know that he hasn't healed me yet for a reason. And yet... I still struggle... With the desires...
I want to not have to worry about tripping at work.
I want to be able to take a really hot shower and not worry about getting weak.
I want to be able to feel normal.
I want to be able to take two glasses off of the kitchen shelf without shaking, dropping them, and watching them break into a million pieces.
But for now... I wait while I want.
My heart sunk as I dropped two of my mom's drinking glasses... yeah... they were cheap... no they weren't family heirlooms... and no she wasn't upset in the least bit... but it was a physical reminder... My tremors and spasms are present. They haven't gone away.
I know that healing will come. Whether through modern medicine or a miracle. I believe modern medicine is one of the ways God does miracles now. And I love miracles.
I am ready to be healed. And even if it never happens on this earth... I will be whole in heaven. And I will be healed.