So... I waited for what seemed like an eternity for him to call me back.
Finally, he said my name. I held my mom's arm as I hobbled back to the room... I sat in the chair...
"How are you?"
I then spent a minute explaining the previous 3 days... and the progressiveness of the weakness...
He pulled me into the exam room... did a bunch of tests on my reflexes... he held my hand as he asked me to stand on my toes...
My thoughts quickly went back to my dancing days... Oh I remember standing on my toes for hours... hours on end... point and flex...
My wobbly legs threatened to give way... and he quickly stopped the test. Then he disappeared for what felt like an hour. I looked at my mom...
"You know, I'm doing everything in my power not to cry right now." I told her
"I know, me too." she said.
He came in... asked a question... then left.
Then back in for another quick question... then gone.
"Come with me... I have some papers for you... we need to set some stuff up."
He explained that safety is my number one priority right now... I needed to go and get a four pronged cane and a walker... tonight.
(Mmmk... When I blogged earlier today... I wasn't really expecting to have to get a walker or a cane... I was hoping that he would have some other suggestion... or that he would tell me I was stronger than I thought.)
Worst part... I hadn't even mentioned a cane or a walker to him... He decided it all on his own... (sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. )
Then he told me I wasn't going to work for at least two weeks (he wanted 4... but I talked him down)... SERIOUSLY?!?!? This is where the water started flowing... He told me that I needed to get a spinal tap, another MRI and an MRA, and then depending on the results of all of this a possible consult with a neuro surgeon. But hopefully not...
Oh ... and I need to start physical therapy... to help with the weakness... and teach me to use a cane properly.
And... no more driving.
I held it together... I took the papers... I walked out his door... stared at the floor... took a deep breath... then assisted by my mom we walked out to the car. We called the medical supplies shop to find out how late they were open and drove over. My heart sank as we pulled up... and I saw all of the ugly... silver walkers.
Seriously, Lord... hold me.
We walked in... and I spotted it... It was light pink ... with flowers... and... 40 dollars cheaper than the silver one... I asked for assistance... The lady looked strangely at me... I explained that if I'm 24 and have to get a walker... I want a cute one...
That's when my mom started sobbing.... and the sales associate started sobbing.
She quickly pulled it together and adjusted it to my height. Then I asked where the cute canes were... and she found me one that was matching to my walker. Light Pink... with flowers. And four pronged so I wouldn't fall.
She hugged me... and I held it together...
Now... I'm home... I've called my work... sobbed on the phone to my manager... I am so disappointed.
Tomorrow I go in for my MRI, then I have to make my appt. for the lumbar puncture, and then Friday I start PT. Saturday I go for the new MRI and MRA of my brain.
My heart is heavy... my eyes are red from crying... I'm 24 and I have a cane... and a walker.
I know the Lord will bring me through this. He will give me strength. He will sustain me.
By His Grace.