TMI (but you know you want to read on :) ha ha!)

Heads up... if you are easily weird-ed out... you might not want to read this post... or if you are a guy who wants to keep that beautiful image of me in your head... don't read this...

But if you want to laugh really hard... by all means... READ ON!

So... tomorrow is my small bowel endoscopy... sounds fun right??? Well... basically I get to swallow a camera... the size of my hand (slight exaggeration...) The doctor is following my "rule" of... nothing in or out... he didn't cut his own whole though... He's just making me swallow the pill...

Last week at my appointment... he handed me a brochure... explaining the procedure... I looked at the brochure and laughed so hard... I snorted... (Confession I am a recovering Laugh snorter)... Yep... I laughed so hard I snorted... So... this brochure has a lady... looking happy as a clam with a "belt" holding the recorder on it walking with her purse on her shoulder in her floral skirt and pink blouse... with some HIDEOUS shoes...

"Just a FYI" I laughed as I spoke "I will NOT look that happy... especially the day after you have me... Prep..."

"Yeah... most people don't"  He replied

So... Today... I picked up my "prepping bottle" It comes with the solution as a powder in the bottom... then you add the water.... all 4 liters... yeah...

So... I go to fill up the stupid bottle and Bam... It leaks all over the floor! Great!!! Why did the Pharmacy give me a leaky bottle that was partly crushed?!?! argh!!!!

My mom rushes in trying to find an appropriate bowl... I fall apart... Dad grabs the bottle and views this as a science experiment that he must figure out... and sister gets a rag for the floor (K... gotta say it now...  I love my family) I'm in pieces... sobbing... imagining myself not being able to do the stupid test (I don't want to do) because I couldn't drink the solution (I didn't want to drink) that the Dr. prescribed... and not getting the answers I need so badly.

Dad, mom, and sister got it into a pitcher... and I started to drink... 8 ounces every 20 minutes.. until "it" runs clear... Yeah...

Oh and on top of all of this... I'm sure anyone who has ever been through a colonoscopy can understand... I'm starving.. been on clear fluids... and I'm hungry... and grumpy... and blogging in the bathroom  and providing way too much info in this blog.

So tonight... I'll be hanging out with my dear  horrible friend Jon... and My other best friend... Desitin...

And tomorrow couldn't come fast enough...


xoxo- me