Friday, July 29, 2011

I didn't expect it to be so hard

I hoisted myself into my big tall blue chair this afternoon at work and rested my feet on the shelf below my desk... I had just finished helping a client who seemed to have never ending questions and I thought to myself... I didn't expect it to be so hard.... It of course being ... Returning to work. It's hard. I have to remind myself that at work "I'm normal" I can't grab my side when it hurts or lay down when I feel weak... I need to pretend to be ok.

As I slipped my shoes off and rested my feet again on the shelf  I wanted to put my head on my desk. (P.S. to all of my bosses and co-workers you didn't just read that sentence... I always have my shoes on... and I never sit cross-legged under my flowing dresses... yeah... what can I say... my legs are short and I'm uncomfortable just leaving them dangling... I'm only 5 foot 2 and 3/4's of an inch just keep that in mind ;) ha ha! )  I wanted to curl into a ball and sleep. But... I was at work. I was happy to be there... I was just simply exhausted.

My motto has become "fake it till you make it" So... I have been... I've at least tried. But unforgettably... some of my symptoms are a little too visible and people notice. If only I could make it go away...

Life would be so easy.

I need to remind myself that I am blessed.  Even in this... even though it is 100 times harder than expected...

I am blessed

xoxo- me

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