Sunday, October 7, 2007

The TOP 10 Reasons I will never move to or vacation in Florida... ever again!

1. The humidity... I walk outside and my glasses fog up... totally not kidding!

2. The MOLD!!!!!!!! Everything is covered in mold... the chairs by the pool are disgusting! The bus stops have mold, the stores have mold, everything has nice big dots of MOLD!!!

3. The water. I arrived at the hotel to be disgusted by the fact that the last person hadn't flushed the toilet. I flushed... it came in the same color! The sign above the toilet says the water color is "natural for Florida" NATURAL?!?! I say it is DISGUSTING! I only drink bottled beverages here...

4. The pimples. I have not broken out like this since I was 13! My face and neck are covered due to.... humidity!!!!!!!!! I went into Walgreen's to by an astringent and the silly woman says to me... oh you got some big pimples! Like I didn't already know! ha ha!

5. The weather. This is supposed to be the sunshine state... more like the foggy, gloomy, ugly, mold infested state! Don't get me wrong, it is gorgeous when it is clear and sunny but... it has only been like that for a couple of days on my trip, and it looks nice from the inside, but once you go outside you die from the humidity! The newscaster even said this morning that they should rename their state! :)

6. The scam artists! I went down to the beach on my day off to take some pictures, I got down there to realize I was out of batteries. Not wanting to go back to the hotel I decided to just pick some up at one of the stores. I walk to seven stores none that carry double A's only Triple! I finally find one that carries double A's and I walk up to the counter where this man is going to give them to me. He pulls out one of those big cartons like you get at Costco and asks me how many batteries I wanted, I answered two. He says "alright that will be $12.95.", I am floored! I expected to pay 3 dollars at most! I said "no way" he says "OK I can see you are a smart girl I will give them to you for a real deal $8". I decline, the box says $1.99. He goes down to six and I declined again. He gets frustrated and says "these are top of the line Duracell!" I told him I could buy a whole pack for 6 bucks! He says "alright I will give them to you for 1.99 a piece" I said " thank you but that is where you should have started and gone down from there." Then I walked out :)

7. The freaks. I wont go into detail but lets just say, I have had some very inappropriate things yelled at me while pushing the baby in the stroller.

8. The lizards. They are all over! These lizards come in all shapes and sizes. My boss found one in her car on her steering wheel! I had one hop on my leg while I was walking!

9. The smell. Due to all the mold... it smells like a very dirty toilet bowl... all the time!!!!!

10. Can I say the humidity again? this is the root of most of these issues!

These are the reasons I encourage all of you to go somewhere besides Florida on vacation. To all of you Florida lovers, I am sorry if I have offended you by my judgement but.... face the fact this state smells. :) I hope you are all laughing as hard as I am right now! :)

1 comment:

Crysti said...

I love the mental image of petite Rachel arguing with the PhotoMart man. It cracks me up!! Way to stick up for yourself!