Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Today... I can't.

(K... first... click play on the right side of the blog... I picked this song for today while you read this post)


I don't feel like smiling.

I don't feel like laughing.

I don't feel like talking.

I don't feel like reading.

I don't feel like writing.

I don't feel like texting.

I don't feel like calling.

I don't feel like... anything.

My world is dark today. The clouds are covering my bright blue sky. Tears are welling up inside my eyes and they just don't seem to stop. I am discouraged. I am weak.

What, might you ask, is the cause of these feelings?

This morning, I couldn't get out of bed.

That freaked me out. How sick am I getting? So sick that I can't stand up by myself? It was purely my physical body that stopped me. The pain.. the weakness. The shaking.

 My skies are gray. With no sight of blue... anywhere.

And today... that's ok. I don't need to be told that everything will be alright... that I will get better... I don't want to hear it... today.

Anyone who has ever been sick... can tell you... you need to have days like today. We all have them... people just don't like to admit these feelings... but I think it's important. It's important to be honest. It's important not put on a happy show... 'cause... well... Today... I can't. 

Today... I am going to accept... and tomorrow... tomorrow... I will move on ... and the skies will have a small patch of blue.


Mama Mote said...

Wow! I really like the way you worded this whole blog. I don't know the extent to what you are going through, but I do keep up a little with your mom through FB. We went to church and sang together as teens/young adults. If you haven't heard already, ask her about a time we were protected by God.

Anonymous said...

You are sweet sweet darling girl. You are in my prayers and your right it is okay to be honest with yourself sometimes we need that. You don't remember me but I care about you and you have touched my heart.I LOVE YOUR music selections.
Lisa Parker