Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Sometimes it's overwhelming... absolutely... overwhelming... this fear... this anxiousness... this... uncomfortable thing we call the unknown. Do you ever fear the unknown? Are you ever anxious?

Last year I did a study by Kay Arthur and in the book she encouraged us to put to memory Philippians 4:8. I had memorized this long ago in AWANA at my church... But I hadn't really soaked in those words in a long time... I love Philippians... It's one of my favorite books... Romans is probably my favorite... but Philippians is close :) 

Philippians 4:4-8
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

It tells me not to be anxious about anything... anything... so as I'm sitting here tonight... anxious.. twirling my long beautiful brown hair (which I really love) around my little fingers... I am disobeying... 

I need to give it over... I need to tell him how scared I am... How I'm scared that Wednesday we will find out what's wrong with me... Or worse yet... have no answers at all...

I need to tell him how much my heart is breaking... How much I don't want this... I don't want to be here... in this position... How much I don't want to be sick... How much I want to be healthy...  How I want Him to make me healthy... 
And I need to thank Him... thank my God for my life... for my wonderful life... for the 24 years I have had to enjoy the little things like butterflies, and pink hydrangeas, and little white daisies... Thank Him for My mom who is always greeting me every morning with a hug and a smile, and my dad bopping me on the head when I try and convince him to give me another... cat...

 I need to thank Him for my sister and her love she shows me... when I am absolutely awful... I need to thank him for my family... and my church family... and most of all I need to thank him for saving me from my sins... I am so blessed! 

And then... I need to wait... wait for that peace that passes all understanding... and just like so many times before... he will give it to me... and I will fall asleep... and I will know... I am blessed and I have nothing to fear... because... He is sovereign over all... even my silly illness.

Tomorrow I plan on sitting in my garden between my naps and watching the butterflies who come for my wildflowers :) 
How are you going to enjoy your day?
xoxo- me

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Rachel, I understand those anxious moments and I am so grateful for the peace that comes with faith in the Lord. You know that faith, 'the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.' What love the Father has for us His children. All He asks is that we relinquish all to Him. Praying for you, <><