I got my life back

Three years ago today my life changed. Three years ago yesterday I was sick. The memories of physical pain still haunt my body. My journal of that time amazes me. God made me so strong! He allowed me to go through so much, but he was always there right next to me.

My family was incredible. Love is helping your sister sit up or helping her shower. Or helping your daughter get a teacher so she could graduate with her class. Or driving your daughter to LA to see a gazillion Doctors. Through all of my illness I learned things like perseverance, love, strength, trust, hope, and not to take narcotics in front of people :) wow... the memories are flooding my mind.



This illness allowed our family to grow together, grow closer. Some of my fondest memories are of the morning of my surgery. November 12th 2005. That morning was so hard. I tried to sleep in as much as possible. My surgery was scheduled for 11:30. When I finally got up I realized that my family was trying so hard to act normally, to make it ok. My Uncle called, to wish me luck and let me know he would be praying for me. Then I took a few steps to the top of the stairs. I couldn't do it. My eyes filled with tears my heart became very heavy. I went into my room and asked not to be disturbed. It is there, in my childhood room that I did the most important thing. I prayed. My prayer was more of a sob with "help me Lord" That was the only thing I could get out. "Help me Lord". I wrote everyone in my family tear stained notes telling them how much I loved them and that EVERYTHING would be OK. I was trying to comfort them as much as they were me.



This was huge. I had been sick for 4 years. We had spent the last year at the doctors at least once every 3 days. And, was it possibly over? Was my life about to change?



The car ride was funny, mostly quiet with a few light hearted conversations about coffee and freeways. And there it was... The hospital. My dad drove up to the drop off and with all the strength I had in me I got out of the car and walked to the door. They led me inside those doors and to pre surgery. It was there in that hospital that I had my surgery. It was there I stayed in the Cardiac intensive care unit for two days.

It was there I got my life back.